Throwback

This post is written due to all those crappy issues that has been happening for the past weeks.

Hello, readers. I've not write for a while. It's a sad thing if I say I didn't have the time to write. 'Cause I just have it, I just have all the time to write. It's just that I pretend to not have all the time for writing and spend it over on other unnecessary stuffs. Such as, mourning.

For the past weeks, I have been mourning to the world that I'm not gonna be happy for the rest of my life for this one shallow thing on my mind, which is losing. Losing everything that I have. Losing the ones I love. Afraid of being down but somehow, I am.

One fine day, I realized that by being afraid of losing, I am actually losing something. I am losing myself.

I'm being completely absurd, defining myself as I am really being unreasonable and holding grudges against everything.

 I kinda fought with myself, the inner side of myself when I said I'm actually protecting myself from harm. I have trust issues with everybody including myself when I realized I doubted my own decision I made.

I told everyone that I'm stupid, I'm not pretty, my boyfriend doesn't love me, my friends are leaving, everything I did sucks, studies are like bird shits, my brain is a mess and my life is ruined! Everything is falling apart.

Fuck everything, you know.

'Do you know that I admire you so much? You're so pretty.'

Life doesn't revolve only around you. Life has much more to that.

Actually I have everything, you know? My friends, my parents, my family, and Iqbal. And by saying I have nothing, I'm being completely avaricious. I'm a human and I shouldn't have everything. My life shouldn't be perfect.

'Cause imperfection is just perfect.